Real, live babies!

Thing 1 and Thing 2 are now real live things in the world!

Check out Baby 242.8 (Helen Mar Hartzell):

And Baby X (Nathan Alan Hartzell, III):

Welcome to the world, tiny ones!

Winner of the Birth Date and Time guessing game is Andy Reinsch, with January 25th, 2015 at 1:00 and 1:10 a.m.

New Pictures!

Check out the people inside Mattine's belly!

Here is Nathan III / Baby X, looking like a creepy ghost:

And here is Helen-Mar/ Baby 242.8 trying to put her leg over her head:

The babies haven't been born yet; we can still party!

Thanks to everyone who came in person or watched the shower live on Hangouts on Air! We had two "participants" and 12 lurkers watching us from the shadows. I hope they were all friends and family, because the kind of person who watches a 4 hour baby shower of someone they don't even know is probably the kind of person we should report to some kind of federal watch group.

Anyway, the babies still aren't due to be born for 3 more months, so we'll keep the online festivities going! I was unable to get the "Showcase" option on the hangouts to link ANY of our fun games, which was disappointing and left you at home with no option to win prizes! So, I'll be updating those with new questions and loading them on the blog over the next few weeks. Meanwhile, we'd still like your internet shopping expertise on The Price is Cheap! Play below, save the Hartzells some money.

Last post before the in-person shower

Hello and welcome to the last blog post before the in-person shower! If you're going to be there in person, we look forward to seeing you. If you are participating from afar, we go live at 3pm Eastern Standard Time tomorrow, 11/15/2014 here: https://plus.google.com/events/ciket8qap8r6drr6cieb19jsb64

I have enabled the Q&A feature, so but it's not immediately obvious how to use it. For that reason, here is me in tech support mode:

1. Click on the link above
2. Click on the "Q&A" logo in the upper right hand corner of the blurry picture of me. This will open the (currently not running) baby shower feed. 
3. Once you are there, click on the 3x3 grid of white squares in the upper right corner. That will give you the option to see the Q&A or the Showcase off to the side of the video feed. Select "Q&A"

Q&A will be your opportunity to submit your questions, comments, snide remarks, links, horrifying baby stories, etc.

The other option for viewing is the "Showcase." This will be where I will send links to play along with many of our shower games in real time, and you'll even be eligible for the prizes! Just no cheating and looking things up on the internet or we'll all be very disappointed in you. Get excited, because the games will include:

• The Super Amazeballs Awesome Good Okay Diaper Raffle
  Everyone in attendance gets one ticket (online attendance counts), and for each diaper you bring or mail, you get another entry! The prize is a $20 Amazon gift certificate.
• Celebrity Baby Matching Game
  Match the picture of the celebrity (or Mattine's family) to their name. The best score wins a mystery prize from the pile. All of these prizes may or may not have been bought at the CVS in my office building.
• Baby trivia
  Answer questions about babies, nursery rhymes, Mother's and Father's day and win another prize. Compete in teams to combine your prowess and figure out how to share a toothbrush I definitely did not buy an hour before the shower.
• The Price is Right Cheap
  Compete to find the cheapest price for common baby goods online. Provide proof and save the Hartzells some money! Winner chooses from the gift pile. You can start playing that one right now, by clicking here.
• Onesie and Bib decorating
  This option is not available to those participating from afar, unless you provide your own supplies. At the Hartzell house, we'll paint giraffes on clothing meant to be pooped and vomited on. Yay! Best design (by vote) also gets a prize.
• Drunken baby
  Drink beer from baby bottles. Not really a game, just a lifestyle choice. Again, provide your own beer and baby bottles at home.

Finally, two people voted to read live tweets and submit their own. For that purpose, we'll be using the hashtag #HartzellTwins. I'll try to not suck at tweeting, if you try too!

Until tomorrow, keep sending in your guesses for the babies' arrival date and time and your advice for baby gifts.

See you all soon!

Pregnancy pics and reminders

So, apparently only three people have opinions on what makes the best and worst gifts?  Don't be shy, let us know what crappy presents you got here: http://mattinehartzell.blogspot.com/2014/11/finally-we-ask-your-advice.html. So far the winner in my mind for the worst present is "the baby." Touche.

Also, 14 people have given feedback on how to they want to participate in the shower, and seven wanted a live feed or a WebEx. This led to an embarrassing old person moment where I tried to test out Hangouts On Air and accidentally broadcast myself staring at my email and/or talking on the phone to my parents for 30 minutes to the entire internet.

Nonetheless, that is how we're going to share the in-person festivities with all of you who cannot make it. If you want to just watch, you can go here: https://plus.google.com/events/ciket8qap8r6drr6cieb19jsb64 at 3pm EST on November 15th. That link should let you watch live, participate in a Q&A section, etc.

If you want to be able to talk and have us hear you, send me your email address and I'll invite you to participate.  You can comment here, email the blog on the right, or comment on the Facebook event page, whichever works for you.

Okay, business completed, now check out the professional photos Mattine and Nathan got with Freyja!

Finally we ask your advice!

Once again I remind you that the in-person shower is coming up (keep voting in the poll to the right), and I expect that some people will be buying baby presents soon. I also know for a fact that some of you have already had babies of your own, nieces and nephews, grandbabies, etc. So, weigh in here for the rest of us who are in the dark on what to buy: what was the most valuable baby gift you got or gave?  What was the least valuable? And, yes, I chose the theme with the assumption that the most common answer will be "Chemistry set."





Also, while you're here, check out the Halloween costume (the babies went as Unborn Renaissance Children):

I think they nailed it, but I'm no historian.

New poll!

With the live in-person baby shower fast approaching (two weeks from tomorrow!), I'd like to know how many of you virtual attendees would like a window into the party, and what shape the window should be.

Please fill out the below poll to help me decide how best to broadcast the festivities over the interwebs.

Thanks!  

More games and prizes will be coming soon, but don't forget to Guess the Babies' Birthday and Time too!

How would you like to participate in the in-person shower?

Name game winner and other stuff

Winner of the "Guess the Babies' names" game is...............

Jenny McCue!


She was literally the only person to guess that the boy will (might probably) be named Nathan. Many of you correctly guessed that my niece, Baby 242.8, will go by Helen-Mar, a family name. Jenny gets a 1/8th day supply of coffee!

Also, Mattine kindly pointed out that I never actually published the answers to her baby facts, and I'm sure many of you have been on tenterhooks ever since. Well here they are:

Where was mom (Carolyn) when she found out she was pregnant?	In her apartment
Where was dad (Milan) when he found out?	At home
When was Mattine born?	Three weeks late
How much did baby Mattine weigh?	8 to 9 lbs
What did mom (Carolyn) crave while pregnant with Mattine?	Pizza from the Magic Mushroom
What would Mattine's name have been if she were a boy?	They never decided
What was mom and dad's favorite story to read to baby Mattine?	Pokey Little Puppy
What was Mattine's favorite baby food?	Beets
What time was Mattine born?	Late night
What was Mattine's first word?	Juice

And for the curious, here is a tenterhook:

Sucks to be on them, doesn't it?

You know what's probably more uncomfortable?  This:

Baby names quiz

Thanks to everyone who has played in the "guess the babies' birth date" game so far. That one will stay open until the moment that both wrinkly gooey faces are officially borned, so feel free to keep playing here.

Meanwhile, Mattine and Nathan have decided on the babies' names! Mostly! Probably! THEY RESERVE THE RIGHT TO CHANGE THEIR MINDS. Dang.

Anyway, here is a quiz where you get to guess what they chose! Once again the prize is a $5 Starbucks gift card, and obviously there can be multiple winners, but Mattine and Nathan can't play. "Cheating is sad and makes the baby Jesus sad" rules remain in place. Good luck!

Guess the babies' birthday!

Congrats to Andy and Cynthia on their combined quiz prowess and quick-draw blog commenting!  Your gift cards are in the mail / under your pillow. Guess which one's which!

A few quick announcements!  First, as the real, live, human, physical, existing in the same space-time continuum of the Hartzell belly, baby shower is about 5 weeks away, Mattine is interested to know who is coming IN PERSON. She's going to buy you all candy, so if you don't tell her you're coming, you might show up and not have any candy. It is on November 15th at 3pm. Use the email button to the right, email Mattine, or comment on the Facebook page to let us know you're coming! The first to arrive will get to make funny helium voices with the balloons we will set aside for that purpose. The last to leave will get to take the rest of the candy. If you're both, you're going to have a really weird party.

Second, there is no second announcement. Psych!

Time for a new game! Baby X and Baby 242.8 are currently scheduled to be delivered by stork on February 14, 2015. As we all know, babies usually arrive exactly on schedule and you can often go out for waffles afterwards, no problem.  However, sometimes they get excited to see the world and come 2 weeks early (Nathan) or they really like their warm, comfy womb and don't see any reason to leave it after only 40 weeks (Mattine). That sounds backwards, doesn't it?  Well it isn't, and their mothers said so. Apparently they both learned from their mistakes.

So, we're taking bets on when the twins will decide to show us their wrinkly snot-covered faces. This is a game that will continue THROUGH the real, live, human, yada, et cetera baby shower, with a totes adorbs memento for the parents:

Get in your guesses now through the form below, on the Facebook page, or by emailing the blog at hartzellshower@outlook.com. As with the Super Amazeballs Awesome Good Okay Raffle, you can "buy" more guesses by contributing diapers to the "End Poop-nado 2015" fund. Each diaper you bring to the shower, or mail with adequate cardage for me to identify, gets you one more guess. You can find them here: http://www.kellyscloset.com/Cloth-Diapers-_c_591.html.

The prize for this quiz will be naming rights to the infants, a six pack of your favorite beer, a bottle of your favorite (reasonably-priced) wine, or a $20 Starbucks gift card, whichever you prefer. Note that we can't name the winner in this one until the babies are born. You'd think I wouldn't have to tell you that, but you're all looking at me kind of blankly and weird.

Good luck!

Winners of Nathan's Baby Facts Game - A Runoff!

All right you clever monkeys. There is a FOUR WAY TIE for the winner of the "Nathan's baby facts quiz" game, and I only have two Starbucks gift cards.  As a tie breaker, whichever TWO of you comment here first will get a gift card.

Here are the right answers, by the way:

Where was Nathan's mom when she found out she was pregnant?	Where was Nathan's dad when he found out?	When was Nathan's due date?	How much did Nathan weigh at birth?	What did Bunni crave while pregnant with Nathan?	What would Nathan's name have been if he were a girl?	What was Nathan's favorite story as a baby?	What time was Nathan born?	What was Nathan's first word?
At home	At home	April 15th	7 to 8 lbs	Fish hoagies and baked potatoes	Elizabeth or Angel	Are You My Mother?	10:50 pm	Daddy

The finalists:

Kathy Klehr
Andy Reinsch
Cynthia Saba
Audrey Dietz


Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd..... GO!

Nathan's Baby Facts Quiz

It's finally here!  The Nathan's Baby Facts Quiz!

Apparently I scared some people off by framing the last one as a competition to prove your friendship to Mattine. We all know you can't win Nathan's friendship through feats of internet quizery, so consider this one "just for fun." Except that the winner will still get a $5 Starbucks gift card. To encourage creative answering, and in honor of someone who accomplished this feat on Mattine's quiz, if you get ZERO right, you will also get a $5 Starbucks gift card. But you will be required to spend it on biscotti. 

Mattine's Baby Facts Quiz Winner(s)

Thanks to everyone who participated in the Baby Facts Quiz!  We have a winner, as well as a cheater, who will prosper after all. 

Tied with 5 points each are Rebecca Strong and Mattine Hartzell. It says great things about Rebecca that 1) she has that awesome name, and 2) she knows as much about Mattine as a baby as Mattine herself knows.  Rebecca, use the email link at the right or the Facebook page to send me your address, and I'll mail you your $5 Starbucks gift card.  Mattine, I'll buy you some non-caffeinated, non-alcoholic, sushi-free beverage next time I see you.

Anyone who didn't get a chance to participate, if you can beat 5 correct answers, I'll send you a home-made drawing of a cup of coffee or a felt turtle. Your choice.

If any other participants want to know their score, you can email the blog, or comment on this post.

Coming later this week: NATHAN Baby Facts Quiz!

Second Sonogram

Guess what! Baby X and Baby 242.8 are now nearly 13 weeks old, which means it's time to take their pictures again!  How many sonograms are there going to be, you may ask.  Well you may ask Google, because I don't know.

For some reason, Mattine and her doctor and the technician that holds the laser that shoots into her belly to take the picture chose to refer to the babies as "Baby A" and "Baby B," rather than the cute pre-names I had picked out, but to each his own.

Here are your future stars:

According to our inside source, Baby A is a wiggler, and Baby B is the "shy, retiring type." This might be your last sonogram evidence to help you vote in the Baby Gender Poll, so get to it.

Also, I'm keeping the Starbucks card for myself if more people don't test their Baby Mattine Knowledge, and I don't even drink coffee. I'll just buy coffee and pour it out, right in front of you.

Baby Mattine Facts

Welcome back to the virtual baby shower and get psyched for a new game!  GET PSYCHED, I SAY!!

Okay, you seem sufficiently psyched. You may now compete in the Baby Mattine Quiz!  We asked Carolyn and Milan Schmidt to tell us a little about what Mattine was like as an embryo and early human, quantified their responses, and created the below quiz so that you can compete for who is the best at knowing things about Mattine!

Your responses will be carefully scored, and the person with the best score (excluding genetic relations) will win a $5 Starbucks gift card.  Cheating (e.g., asking Mattine, Carolyn or Milan the answers) is discouraged, not because it would give you an advantage, but because that is really pathetic and sad. Buy your own coffee, weirdo.

Let the game begin!

First sonogram

Welcome to the internet, Hartzell Twins!

Someday, when you're putting together your college applications, you'll hire a private detective to scour the internet for all the stupid pictures of you floating around cyberspace, and come across this. This is you at 7 weeks, when you were working on growing your heart and lungs and something called "limb buds." I'm going to go ahead and assume you eventually grew whole limbs. I guess we'll find out at your next sonogram in a couple months.

Virtual Baby Shower folks: Now that you've seen a picture, you can make a much more informed decision in the Baby Gender Poll. Get your votes in!

Next week we'll put up a new poll or game, so get excited. 

Welcome to the Virtual Baby Shower!

As you may or may not have heard, Mattine is pregnant!  With TWINS!!  (That's Latin for "two babies at the same time.")

Two babies means double everything: cribs, strollers, diapers, bottles, motorcycles, onesies, diapers, play mats, bouncy castles, and diapers.  What I hear about babies is that they poop. Luckily Mattine is up for cloth diapering, so feel free to buy her about a metric ton of those here.

You should soon receive / have received a super cute baby announcement with a "save the date" for the in-person shower. If you're in the Glen Burnie / Baltimore / Washington / Philadelphia / North American general region, you are very much encouraged to attend.  There will probably be disgusting poop-based games and cucumber sandwiches.  Or vice versa.

But, if you are currently visiting the moon or otherwise unable to attend in person, keep checking in here for an ongoing virtual baby shower.  There will be games, polls (like the poll at the bottom of the page), quizzes, and prizes. We might even set up a Twitter account to document Mattine's growing belly, live tweet the in-person shower, and a third thing to end this list because lists need at least three things.

Thanks for checking in, and come back again soon!

~Aunt Becky